A gentle guide
Eulogy or obituary: what is the difference?
An obituary tells people what happened. A eulogy tells them who the person was.
Families are often asked for both within a few days, and the two words get mixed up. They do different jobs.
| Obituary | Eulogy | |
|---|---|---|
| What it is | A written notice of a death | A speech at the funeral or memorial |
| Where it appears | Newspaper, funeral website, social media | Spoken aloud at the service |
| Main purpose | Inform: who died, when, service details | Remember: who they were, what they meant |
| Typical length | 100 to 200 words in print, longer online | 3 to 5 minutes, about 400 to 650 words |
| Voice | Third person, factual, calm | Personal, often "I" or "we" |
| Who writes it | Family or funeral director | A family member or close friend |
What goes into an obituary
- Full name, age, and where they lived
- Date of death, and sometimes the place
- Close family members, living and predeceased
- A few lines about their life, work and interests
- Service details, and where donations can go
What goes into a eulogy
- Who you are and your relationship to them
- Stories and small details that show their character
- What they meant to you and to others
- A goodbye
Can one be built from the other?
Partly. The facts in an obituary give a eulogy its frame, and the stories gathered for a eulogy can warm up an obituary. Many families gather memories once and use them for both. For eulogy timing, see how long a eulogy should be.
Common questions
Is a death notice the same as an obituary?
Not quite. A death notice is usually a short, paid announcement with the basic facts. An obituary can be longer and tells more of the person's life.
Can the eulogy be printed in the order of service?
Yes, some families print it or share it afterwards with people who couldn't attend.
If you need one, or both
I write personal obituaries in a full version and a short newspaper version, and a eulogy and obituary together from the same memories.
See the obituary Prefer to write it yourself? The step-by-step guide with templates is a small download.